being single

Mindfulness of being single

Being single is a gift.

Now, if you’re single, it might sound odd to read this as many single people struggle with their singlehood. And you might be one of them, living with me your singleness as a burden that’s preventing you from fully enjoying your life.

I understand.

The reality is that we’re conditioned early on to think that being in a relationship is the norm. Being single, on the other hand, is not supposed to be. Yet, making the conscious effort to simply see this time as a temporary phase in your life and use it to learn more about yourself and grow will train your mind to open up to new possibilities. In this post, I’ve highlighted for you some of the powerful reasons why being single is actually a gift you should welcome.

Hopefully, it empowers you to enjoy your life regardless and make the most of this special time.

Singlehood Allows You to Truly Explore Who you Are and Grow
Being single is a blessing in disguise. Indeed, it gives you the opportunity to get to know yourself better, understand your emotions, triggers, and reactions, and better grasp your needs and aspirations. This, in turn, helps you grow as an individual.

By spending more quality time with yourself, you get to embark on a journey of self-discovery and uncover the real you. For instance, you might realize that you’re a strong, confident, and independent woman when all along, you thought that you were weak and needed someone else to survive.

Besides, when we spend time with others, including a partner, we tend to hide behind a mask, repressing or ignoring our feelings and adjusting our behavior. Being alone with yourself enables you to pay attention to your true feelings, identify your struggles and your weaknesses, and craft a plan of action to overcome them. Only then can you grow and thrive as you.

Tip for finding yourself
✓ Grab a pen and a piece of paper or a journal and write all the things you know about yourself. Make sure to write down the good and the bad and all the things people usually say about you.
✓ Go over the list slowly and identify areas that require you to make changes in order to grow.
✓ Lastly, ask yourself how implementing these changes will make your life and that of others better.

Being Single Gives you More Time to Yourself, Doing the Things You Love
Being by yourself has another incredible benefit; you can spend more time tuning into your intuition and energy, looking after your mental and physical health, and doing the things you enjoy. You get to prioritize your life and your happiness.

On the other hand, life in a relationship can be exhausting as it can burden you with responsibilities and duties. You have to worry about your other half’s needs, what to cook for dinner, being on time for their evening work event, or spend time with their family or friends when you don’t feel like it, thus sacrificing your own time and personal well-being in the process. After all, relationships are all about sacrifice and compromise.

It is funny how we say that intimacy means ‘’in-to-me-see’’ and yet, we never seem to apply this concept to ourselves. From our childhood, we’re surrounded by people, may they be parents, siblings, guardians, or other family members; there’s always someone. Transitioning into adulthood, many of us get sucked into a fast-paced lifestyle and demanding relationships and get lost in the process. That’s because, as human beings and social animals, we rely on family, friends, colleagues, and others in general. We need a network around us.

Then we tend to go straight into a relationship to start our own family. And while you should always be the priority, it’s easy to lose yourself when looking after your kids and your partner. You then become a mother, a confident, or a wife before being you. The reality is that relationships are incredibly demanding.

However, when you’re single, you get to enjoy every single moment (excuse the pun) of your free time and choose to spend it the way you see fit. You can unwind and calm your mind away from the distractions and the hustle and bustle of life relationships. During this downtime, you get to listen to inner voice, your needs and wants, and act on them.

Besides, this time being single gives you the invaluable opportunity to reconnect with your inner self. It might even make you realize that you weren’t even nurturing your soul and giving yourself essential things you were expecting from others, such as compassion, love, or forgiveness. Once you’ve learned these lessons, you can start focusing on yourself and doing the things that matter the most.

Tip to Reconnect with Yourself
Invite and embrace the changes, be in the present with an optimistic attitude, and you’ll be able to see the good in singleness. As the famous saying goes, ‘’every cloud has a silver lining’’. So, focus on the silver lining, the experience, and the journey and watch your true self develop, grow and become one with yourself. This is where true happiness lies.

Don’t Let Past Relationships Affect your Present
Singles tend to blame their current singleness on their past experiences. The issue with this is that it makes you focus on the past, and you get stuck there. Now, think about it. Could the fact that you’re holding onto your less-than-ideal past experiences be the reason why you’re struggling in the present? If that’s the case, you might unconsciously be choosing to let your negative past experiences define you. You choose to let them drive your mindset. But why should you? This will only bring emotional discomfort, physical pain and hinder your happiness. So, instead of rehashing your past experiences, accept and acknowledge them and learn from them. That way, you can grow, improve, change your ways, find yourself, and fully embrace the present to finally welcome happiness in your life. Remember, the present needs you, the past doesn’t.

Tip for Practicing Gratitude
Practicing gratitude and taking the time to reflect upon the things you’re thankful for can significantly help improve your mindset, bringing positive emotions and energy. These could be small things such as having a particular friend in your life or being able to have food on your plate every day. So, use a gratitude journal to jot down three things you’re grateful for every day, and you’ll start enjoying the power of gratitude practice and be able to live in the moment.

As a last word of advice, I’d say this; you can choose to see the glass half full or half empty. It’s entirely up to you. Sure, singleness comes with its challenges but so does being in a relationship. Whether single or not, all life’s battles are teaching us something new from which we have the opportunity to grow, improve and thrive. So, it’s important to embrace each experience life throws your way, whether you perceive it as being good or bad, and open up to new possibilities. After all, your future other half could be waiting for you to do just that.

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